We recently purchased a home from a wonderful couple. Some of their mail had arrived to our house in error so we decided to meet them at their church on Sunday.
It was a wonderful service. During his sermon, the Pastor referenced Psalm 139: 1-18. I immediately remembered a dark time in my life, which He showed me that He is with us during all of our joys and our sorrows.
It was around 1985, as a newly single mom of 3 precious boys, I was about to lose everything. My husband, home, possessions, car and unbeknownst to me also my health.
I was in despair and alone in the house. I had been crying for what seemed hours. It was now midnight and I got in the car looking for an open church, wanting and needing to feel His presence.
Of course all the churches were closed and I returned back to my home sobbing. The house was dark, and I got down on my knees to pray. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?! Of course our God is everywhere, not just inside the four walls of a church.
I was praying for Him to forgive me, to remove my fears, for Him to help me out of this mess I had created and for all the consequences of my poor choices that had led me to where I now found myself.
My arms were reaching out into the Heavens pleading for peace, knowledge, answers, direction and His love.
All of a sudden I looked up and the cross sitting on my book shelf in this dark home began to glow. The entire room was aglow. I stood up rubbing my eyes in disbelief and picked up the glowing cross.
I kissed the cross and knelt down and prayed in gratitude and thanksgiving as the tears were streaming down my face. The tears of anguish, fear and pain were replaced with tears of joy and thanksgiving.
I felt a peace wash over me, as a quiet wave touches the shoreline. I wasn’t alone anymore. Despite being on the brink of losing all my material possessions and my husband, God was with me, and had been all this time. He had me in His arms and for the first time I felt safe.
“Psalm 139: 11-12
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
And verse 18:
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.”
The cross remained lit all night. I was able to finally sleep. I couldn’t remember the last time I truly rested.
When morning broke and I awakened, He was still with me, shining bright on my bookcase.