“I’ve learned it is much easier to speak only what is true because lies are just like boomerangs; they will still come back to you.” Linda Ellis. An excerpt from the book Simple Truths of Life, watch the short movie Here: The Simple Truths of Life .
I instilled in my boys from very young about the story The Boy who Cried Wolf. When they would do something wrong and try to lie I would tell them that the lie would have greater punishment than the actual action. If they had a reputation of lying, soon no one would even trust a word that came out of their mouths, even if they were telling the truth. They learned very quickly to stop blaming others for their actions and to stop lying.
As a child I know I must have tried to do the same things as my children did. However, my parents wouldn’t ignore the behavior, they addressed it immediately. During my lifetime I have had opportunities to blame others, keep silent or lie. Although I am not perfect, even when telling the truth was either difficult or embarrassing, I chose the truth.
Our family has recently had to deal with a family member who continues to lie and deceive those around him. We are being blamed for so many things, I can’t even begin to write about them all. This latest one has escalated into something that is deceitful and to me downright dangerous and maybe even pathological.
As I did with my children, I called him out on this behavior. Although he is an adult, that didn’t set well of course. In this particular case it doesn’t matter what we know or say it will not make him stop. It will not make him see the damage he is doing to all of the relationships that he has conveniently removed from his path.
I feel that we were trying too hard to prove our innocence. We were also too worried about what others were thinking. These are some of the things that we said to each other, “What if others believe their stories?, What will they think of us?, What other things are they saying?” In the back of my mind I kept changing these thoughts to worry, worry about the children and worry about his mental health.
We are devastated but need to keep them in our prayers and back away. God will take the reins so to speak and we have to have faith that at some point this will be addressed so the healing can begin. We found that there has to be a balance between letting them know the truth and also the act of forgiveness. It became futile to show them the truth, so forgiveness will win out in the end.
How have you dealt with someone not being honest that affected you directly? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Image credit, Boomerang in Flight: fergregory / 123RF Stock Photo
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