The One Thing Mom Never Taught Me

Photo Property of Lisa Ladrido

Mom in 1957

I have been blessed with many wonderful women who have or continue to inspire me during my life. However, I would like to tell you a little about the most important woman who gave me life, my mom. She taught me so many things, but the one thing she never taught me was how much my life would change without her in it.

She was a Social Worker and a stay at home mom until I, being the eldest, was around 10 years old. From a very young age we all were expected to do chores. I can remember my sister, who around three and a half and I around five, standing on chairs at the kitchen sink washing and drying all the dishes after dinner.

One of my earliest memories of her in the kitchen was making the dough for her delicious homemade bread. Puffs of flour clouds rose from the table as I stood on my tiptoes watching her. I remember her smiling as she bent down placing some of the flour on the tip of my nose!

When I was old enough she started to teach me how to cook certain meals. After she returned to work I had to cook for the family, and yes, there were a lot of jello molds for dessert! I am sure if you asked my siblings they would agree!

Another favorite memory as a child was waking up one Christmas morning and the tree was lit and full of packages. There were two fur coats, hanging by the tree. One for my little sister and one for me. We rushed and put them on, modeling them for all to see! Now as an adult I know she had to have spent every free minute sewing them while we were sleeping.

She returned to work as a Social Worker for a local children’s home. One Christmas she brought home two little foster children who had no where to go. They must have been no older than three or four years old. We had so much fun preparing for that Christmas. It was no longer about what we were going to receive but what we were going to give to those two little boys. I wonder where they are now, but I am sure they never forgot that Christmas, I know I haven’t.

After we moved from New York to Puerto Rico our home became the party place. It seemed that every weekend we had some event and the entire extended family would be there. I can still hear the music and laughter coming from that gazebo. The food magically appeared and there was always enough for everyone.

Later we have learned that she was dealing with many disappointments in her life, but never complained about anything. As kids we were sheltered from anything negative that may have been going on. She loved us with all her heart and soul and we knew it.

She taught us how to take care of ourselves early on. I will always be grateful for that insight as it has helped me during my life’s challenges. We didn’t need to depend on anyone, just ourselves and our wherewithal! I learned to cook, sew, clean, do laundry and take care of a home way before I ever went off to college.

My mom didn’t believe parents and children should be pals, buddies, friends, she was the parent and we were always her kids. However, in my eyes she was my best friend. We talked all the time on the phone. She was always so fair, if I was doing something wrong she would tell me, at times she even took my then husband’s side over mine. She was always there for advice if we needed her.

In 1992 my dad and mom called and told us that they were coming to visit us in Florida.  We were always so excited with their visits. My kids would call them Grandpa and Grandma Airplane because they always had to fly to us for their visits!

They arrived and soon my mom sat with us and told us that she had to see a doctor. My dad was also surprised, she hadn’t told him anything. He thought they were just coming for a fun vacation, as did we.  She said that she had a lump in her breast that needed to be checked.

We quickly got her in to see the doctor. Little did we know that the “lump” as she called it, was an actual large mass already protruding out of her skin. I remember sitting with her and my dad waiting for her to have the CT scan. I was so scared and had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The CT came back and when I looked at it, it was as if her bones were Swiss cheese. There were actual numerous holes up and down her hip and leg bones. I was sick. I then realized that she must have been in terrible pain, but never complained. I knew I was going to lose my mom and soon.

My dear mom lasted around 18 months after her arrival to Florida. She died in 1993. I miss her so much. I always thought she would be there to see all her grandchildren marry and have kids. It was months before I finally stopped picking up the phone to call her.

My mom was a blessing to all of us and to all the people who crossed her path. She is the woman who to this day inspires me. Did she teach me how life would be without her? No, I never imagined losing her so early. Little did I know that each lesson she did teach me was going to be a lesson on how to survive without her. Thank you Mom, I will forever be grateful to you and for everything you taught me. I love and miss you so much.

Before I close, I must first say that her death was most likely preventable. She never went to the doctor, never had mammograms, or even a simple breast self-exam. She eventually found the tumor but never told anyone, not even a doctor. Please check out how to do a Breast Self-Exam here and please get your yearly mammograms.

Do you have someone in your life that inspires you? Or special childhood memories? Please share them with us, we would love to hear your stories.

Lisa Ladrido (66 Posts)

Lisa is an R.N. Mom Blogger and the author of Mom Blogger Buzz. She writes about Social Media, Technology, Product Reviews, Blogging Tips, Travel, Family and Health. She and her husband live in the Seattle area. They have 5 sons, 4 grandchildren and 3 furry four legged children!

42 comments for “The One Thing Mom Never Taught Me

  1. May 14, 2015 at 9:29 AM

    Such a good reminder of how much value we have to those around us. Our health is as important to others as is it to our longevity.
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  2. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)
    May 14, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    Oh what a sad story. We need to remember to take care of ourselves for us and the people that love us.

  3. Catherine S
    May 14, 2015 at 10:28 AM

    Thank you for sharing this with us. This is a great reminder for me to take care of myself.

  4. May 14, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    I love the love that you had for your mom and the relationship you had. Cherish the memories. I am so sorry that this happened.

    • May 17, 2015 at 7:21 AM

      I will always cherish the memories Aimee. I decided to write them down for my family as much as for me! Thank you so much.
      Lisa Ladrido recently posted..The One Thing Mom Never Taught MeMy Profile

  5. May 14, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    Wow, I am so sorry! My mom passed away from cancer when I was 16.. I was best friends with my mom and miss her too! Hugs to you

  6. Pam
    May 14, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    My aunt, who I was very close with, died from breast cancer when I was younger. It made me determined to always do self exams and get mammograms.

  7. May 14, 2015 at 7:56 PM

    What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She sounds like she was a very special person.
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    • May 17, 2015 at 7:23 AM

      Thank you Lois. Yes, she was. My kids were so little when she passed away, I wanted to make this tribute for them as well.
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  8. May 14, 2015 at 8:35 PM

    It’s nice to be able to have had someone so inspirational in your life. This was a very beautiful post.

  9. May 15, 2015 at 5:27 AM

    Such a sad story, sorry for your loss. I

    This is a great tribute to your mom! Hugs!

  10. May 15, 2015 at 5:31 AM

    This is something I try to tell all my family and friends. People are so busy trying to make money and get things ,that they forget about their health. I told my friend yesterday , having big finances is nothing without good health.
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  11. May 15, 2015 at 8:13 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like such an amzing woman and I’m sure she is looking over you. recently posted..Logic ProductsMy Profile

  12. May 15, 2015 at 8:19 AM

    This is such a beautifully written post about your Mother. This is the kind of Mom I hope that I am to my children. I loved the sweet description of your time in the kitchen with her! I’m sure your jello mold desserts bring back lots of happy memories! Thank you for sharing your very special Mom with us.

  13. May 15, 2015 at 10:24 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a mom is not easy and our health is important, we must take care of it
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  14. May 15, 2015 at 10:37 AM

    Your Mom sounds like she was an amazing woman. I can remember watching my Mom in the kitchen baking.
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  15. May 15, 2015 at 11:13 AM

    Wow, what an amazing woman she was! I definitely agree; we need to regularly get ourselves checked by a doctor.
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  16. May 15, 2015 at 7:32 PM

    What a wonderful tribute to your Mom. She really sounds like an amazing woman.
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  17. May 15, 2015 at 8:59 PM

    Such a sad story and I am very much sorry for your loss. Really a great tribute to your wonderful mom. Thanks a lot for sharing it with us.

  18. May 15, 2015 at 9:46 PM

    This is a wonderful post! Your Mother sounds amazing !
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  19. May 16, 2015 at 9:37 AM

    What a beautifully touching post. Your mom sounds like an incredible woman and reminds me very much of my own who passed away in 2004. My mom was an incredibly selfless person who was always hosting friends/family as well. Unfortunately in all that selflessness, she failed to take care of herself. As a result, I never really learnt what self care meant until much later in my life. It doesn’t change the incredible memories of her however I do wish she could have been around for longer. She never got to meet my kids.
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    • May 17, 2015 at 7:38 AM

      I am so sorry Fariha. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. She is watching you from above. It’s too bad that they both put themselves last.
      Lisa Ladrido recently posted..The One Thing Mom Never Taught MeMy Profile

  20. May 17, 2015 at 3:46 PM

    This is such a great post and good reminder that we need to get our regular doctor’s visits in for the sake of our health and our family. Thank you for sharing.
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  21. May 20, 2015 at 12:10 PM

    I love the picture of your mom. My mom hasn’t been to a doctor since she gave birth to me. EEK!

  22. June 7, 2015 at 8:25 AM

    Such a beautiful post! A wonderful tribute to your mom. As mom’s we do tend to try to prepare our children for going forward in life without us, but I don’t think that anything ever prepares us fully for that moment. Lessons…life is truly all about the lessons isn’t it? Big hugs, xoxo
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  23. July 11, 2015 at 12:04 PM

    This is a sweet inspirational post. It sounds like you had an amazing mom who was very selfless in her actions. I have always admired women like that but am nowhere close to being like that. I’m sorry to hear you had to go through losing her to cancer.
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